| i haven't been here for a loooooong time. i guess it's way past due, yea? ever since myspace came around, it's like "xanga-what?" haha well since i've last blogged, i've moved back to my old house. started my second year of college. parents got a divorce. still with francis. working two jobs, mainly at s&m united van lines (still at bbw though!). damn. life's been pretty crazy for me these past months. it seems like only yesterday when i was in 2nd grade getting dragged out of my bed by my parents to go to school. i remember i used to walk home and my mom would be at the house waiting for me just so she knows i made it home safe. haha pretty funny considering the fact that i live just around the block from school. then i'd watch cmc and wait for my dad to come home to cook dinner. we'd all sit around the table eating and laughing. we... hmm, my mom, dad, brother, sister, my uncle, and me. damn. those were the good old days. i miss it. i miss everything. i miss how everything in this little house seemed fine and happy. everyone getting along with their little fights here and there. going out EVERY weekend just to go out together. i remember when my mom and dad used to drag michael and i to go look at model homes every single fucking weekend for about 2 years.  it sounds hella weird but i get all happy just thinking about it. now that i'm in COLLEGE (i said high school at first. hahah!), working and all that jazz, i feel like i've lost that close relationship i've had with my family. michael and i fight like always. my sister and i rarely talk. ever since we moved to tracy then to livermore, it's just been ehhh.  and well my parents. they seriously fucked me over. you know, i wake up everyday with them in the same house, talking, laughing, watching tv together, just TOGETHER and it makes me so fucking sad and depressed to know that in about two weeks, my dad is fucking leaving. i swear, my parents are the most selfish fucking people ever. how can they seriously make it seem like everything is fine and how it used to be, when it's not! sometimes i think i hate my parents with all my heart but then i realize, i dont. i cant. i love them too much. they're selfish assholes, but they're still my parents. i hate how they make my siblings and i think that everything's fine. i hate how they walk around the house acting like they're the best of fucking friends. i hate how they're just selfish. my parents are stupid and need a huge slap in the fucking face. BUT they're my parents... i still love them... those bastards. |
